Across the Hall

Across the Hall
Mankind existed for thousands of years without them, yet today, it´s as though they´re vital to our survival. Something that was once simple and plugged into your wall now can do everything except make breakfast for you, and it fits in your pocket. They glow, vibrate, make noise, play games and help us communicate. They also annoy, infuriate and disrupt sometimes more than they help. I´m talking about your cell phone, of course. I think these devices are probably the creation of the Devil himself, but regardless, most folks tend to like, rely on and, sadly, fall in love with what is really just a tool.

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Almighty Thor

Almighty Thor
You can always count on The Asylum for a good laugh or two. Each and every one of their shamelessly low-budget “mockbusters” seems to take great pride in delivering the cheapest and cheesiest thrills for the money, and I’ve yet to be disappointed with any of their recent efforts. Not surprisingly, director Christopher Ray’s SyFy original outing “Almighty Thor” has been scheduled for release around the same time that Kenneth Branagh’s big budget comic book adaptation “Thor” bows in theaters across North America. “Almighty Thor” is just as a genuinely awful as I thought it would be, but as you well know, that’s precisely what I was hoping for. However, instead of mining the comic book for material, the filmmakers choose to plant their roots in the actual mythology surrounding the titular titan. Sneaky, sneaky.

Newcomer Cody Deal portrays the whiny, snot-nosed son of Odin (Kevin Nash), the latter of whom is currently in the midst of a very bloody war with the villainous Loki (Richard Grieco). Apparently this pasty middle-aged goth lord is highly interested in getting his sweaty little palms all over a magical hammer, which he will use to destroy the Tree of Life. However, before he can acquire said mystical weapon, Odin sends it hurtling into another dimension. Loki, understandably irritated with the whole scenario, savagely murders the old God and Thor’s bald, badass brother in a fit of rage. Upon discovering their bloodless corpses, Thor cries for a few brief moments before declaring revenge on the otherworldly demon who butchered his family. In order to prepare for the inevitable showdown, our hero teams up with a sexy warrior named Jarnsaxa (Patricia Velasquez), who desperately wishes to train the big blonde bozo for the fight of his life.

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The Way

The Way
Tom is an American doctor who goes to France following the death of his adult son, killed in the Pyrenees during a storm while walking the Camino de Santiago, a Christian pilgrimage route to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Galicia, Spain, also known as The Way of St. James. Tom's purpose is initially to retrieve his son's body. However, in a combination of grief and homage to his son, Tom decides to walk the same ancient spiritual trail where his son died in order to understand his son better. While walking The Camino, Tom meets others from around the world (three in particular), all broken and looking for greater meaning in their lives. During his travels, Tom discovers the meaning of one of the last things his son said (in a flashback) to his father: that there is a difference between "the life we live and the life we choose."

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Breach

Breach
No matter how compelling and intriguing a real-life story may be, it doesn't necessarily translate into an equally compelling and intriguing motion picture. Breach is a case in point. Based on the widely publicized case of turncoat FBI agent Robert Hanssen, which dominated headlines in late February 2001, the movie succeeds at being a thriller with few thrills. With an end that is predetermined (and revealed to anyone who might be in the dark in the opening scene, a news clip of John Ashcroft announcing Hanssen's arrest), there's little room for suspense. Billy Ray's chronicling of Hanssen's capture has its high points, but it's a little on the dry side. Thank god for Chris Cooper.

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Fugitive Pieces

Fugitive Pieces
Fugitive Pieces was accorded the honor of opening the 2007 Toronto International Film Festival, and it became the latest in a long line of Opening Night movies to have trouble securing a distributor. After an eight month interval after its World Premiere, the movie is being given a small U.S. Distribution by Samuel Goldwyn Films. What was worth missing in Toronto is worth missing at a local art house. In a word, Fugitive Pieces can be described as “forgettable.” The film has lofty goals, but comes across as leaden and pretentious. It’s a character study in which the lead participant is the least interesting person in the movie. There’s something inherently frustrating and unsatisfying about that. As a viewer, you want to become involved in this man’s life but the film never takes you to a point where that’s possible. This is a fatal flaw.

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Bubble

Bubble
Bubble is a history-making movie: the first film released simultaneously in movie theaters, on pay-per-view TV, and on DVD. As the initial move toward the collapse of the multiplex-to-video window, it's a baby step. The film is an excellent choice for this. It's a low-budget, independent effort with little mainstream appeal. But Steven Soderbergh's name on it guarantees it won't be overlooked. For those not living near one of the thirty-odd venues offering Bubble on their marquee, there is no need to wait four months for home video availability. In fact, it's possible to argue that the DVD is the preferred way to see the film. It's not the kind of movie that will suffer from a reduction in screen size, and there are several valuable features on the disc (an intriguing deleted scene, interviews, and two commentary tracks) that are not found in theaters.

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Memoirs of a Geisha

Memoirs of a Geisha
It's a recognized fact that many epic love stories of literature and cinema transpire around or during a war. Consider, for example, Casablanca (World War II), Gone with the Wind (the American Civil War), Dr. Zhivago (the Russian Revolution), and Pearl Harbor (just kidding). Memoirs of a Geisha falls into this category. At its heart, this is a romance that transpires against the background of an ever-changing Japan during the 1930s and 1940s. Although the film is less concerned with the war than with the impact it has upon the characters, much of the final act could not have occurred without the influence of the postwar American occupation of Japan.

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Must Love Dogs

Must Love Dogs
Must Love Dogs is a product - a pre-packaged, easily-digestible motion picture designed with one particular audience in mind. You know the kind of film. You have seen it before, usually with names like Nancy Myers or Nora & Delia Ephron involved. Those with ovaries have a better chance of appreciating Must Love Dogs than those with testicles. For some members of the latter group, sitting through this will be akin to having those organs trodden upon. Must Love Dogs is bland and forgettable - a romantic comedy with affable characters and some funny lines, but where love never really takes flight. It fizzles when it should sizzle.

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Meet the Robinsons

Meet the Robinsons
It's tempting to label Meet the Robinsons as just another in a long line of recent computer animated kid-traps, but it deserves a more upbeat description. Thankfully, we're not subjected to the new staple of the big-screen cartoon - anthropomorphized animals are kept to a minimum (a few genetically engineered frogs and a T-Rex). I'm tired of talking bears and singing donkeys. It goes without saying that children will enjoy the movie (this is a blanket statement that applies to anything except the worst animation), but there's enough of a storyline to keep adults from dozing off. No one is going to mistake Meet the Robinsons for any of the great Disney/Pixar releases from the 1995-2004 decade but as an early spring 2007 offering, it's better than merely acceptable.

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Together

Together
The provocative and challenging Together is the sophomore effort from director Lukas Moodysson. Show Me Love, his feature debut, achieved a certain amount of worldwide acclaim during its international theatrical run during late 1999 and early 2000. Now, Moodysson is back with a much different kind of story that features the same focus on character interaction. The hallmarks of Show Me Love -- the believability of the protagonists and the urgency of their emotions - are very much in evidence throughout Together.

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Johnny English

Johnny English
Would you believe... that Johnny English is the most amazingly funny satire ever made about spies? [No.] Would you believe... that it's a pretty funny spoof of the Bond movies? [No.] Would you believe... that it's a sporadically amusing lampoon in the same vein as Austin Powers? [No.] Would you believe... that it's basically a dog that should have been released in August with all of the other late-summer refuse? [Yes.]

I didn't have high hopes for Johnny English. After all, there have been so many 007 parodies in the last few years that the genre is oversaturated. (In fact, with Die Another Day, even the "legitimate" Bond movies have gotten into the act. That movie was as close to self-parody as the venerable series has gotten since The Man with the Golden Gun.) If there was cause for optimism, however, it had to do with Rowan Atkinson, the gifted British comedian behind such ventures as "Black Adder" and "Mr. Bean." Sadly, although Atkinson can remove his trousers from underneath a bathing suit on national TV, he can't invigorate this overused premise. Johnny English is a tamer Austin Powers crossed with "Get Smart," with very little in the way of effective humor.

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Candles on Bay Street

Candles on Bay Street
DeeDee returns to her hometown with her 11 year old son, Trooper, 13 years after she ran off with her boyfriend. Her childhood best friend, Sam, is now married and he and his wife, Lydia, are the towns veterinarians. Lydia is a little wary about DeeDee after Sam tells her that they were best friends growing up and DeeDee was his first crush. But DeeDee and Trooper find their way into many hearts of the townspeople with their sweet helpfulness and friendships. DeeDee sets up a candle making business in town square and invites many of the ladies of the town to weekly candle making parties, and through these parties she and Lydia become good friends. One evening after dinner with Lydia and Sam, DeeDee tells Sam shes very sick and she doesnt have much longer to live and she needs his help to find a good family in town to adopt Trooper. Sam later tells Lydia everything and they decide to adopt Trooper themselves ifwhen something happens to DeeDee.

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The Long Riders

The Long Riders
The origins, exploits and the ultimate fate of the Jesse James gang is told in a sympathetic portrayal of the bank robbers made up of brothers who begin their legendary bank raids because of of revenge.

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Bordertown

Bordertown
Lauren, an impassioned American reporter for the Chicago Sentinel heads to Juarez, a Mexican bordertown, in order to investigate a series of mysterious slayings involving young factory women from all over Mexico. As she discovers hundreds of victims, she gains the trust of local factory workers but falls into danger.

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Brando Unauthorized

Brando Unauthorized
Genius Actor, Controversial Man, A Parent With Turmoil

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Eddie Griffin: Freedom of Speech

Eddie Griffin: Freedom of Speech
This could have been funny, but!!! Too many one-sided racist jokes. Toomany jokes about his own genitalia. With a title like freedom ofspeech, he could have made a bold statement about the state of affairsin the U.S. but he falls way short. Ive seen Eddie stand up in thepast and he used too be funny, but this attempt at comedy was all aboutracism towards white people. Griffin exposed that he is a bitter racistwho would like to chain and beat on white people. Seems Eddies versionof Freedom of Speech is self-serving and without any type of insightwhatsoever into what the freedom of speech problem may be (except forthe fact that he likes to say ngger). Overall, the message is... Watchout for Eddie Griffins privates!

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