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Animals United

#1 | Movie Reviews

Animals United
A reasonable enough kiddie-pic for the holidays: a German-made, eco-themed 3D animation that brings together a selection of the planet's fluffiest animals in a general assault on the most evil creature of all... man.

Animals United

Dr. Dolittle 3

#1 | Movie Reviews

Dr. Dolittle 3
Maya Dolittle, the Doctor's youngest daughter, has inherited her father's gift for talking to animals, but so far it's brought her nothing but trouble. So, Maya heads to Durango summer camp to get in touch with her abilities.

Dr. Dolittle 3

Wild Beasts

#1 | Movie Reviews

Wild Beasts
The water supply for a large city zoo becomes contaminated with PCP, and the animals go crazy and get loose.

Wild Beasts

Earthlings

#1 | Movie Reviews

Earthlings
Using hidden cameras and never-before-seen footage, EARTHLINGS chronicles the day-to-day practices of the largest industries in the world, all of which rely entirely on animals for profit.

Earthlings

Grizzly Park

#1 | Movie Reviews

Grizzly Park
Eight young adults are sent to do community service at Grizzly Park. There, they are hunted by an escaped serial killer along with the animals of the forest.

Grizzly Park

Live Animals

#1 | Movie Reviews

Live Animals
This one had me undecided as to whether I liked it or not almost the entire running time. The opening had me rolling around my eyes; the middle kinda had to hooked; and then the ending the goddamn ending. What I thought was gonna end up being a pretty decent and fun entry into the torture-porn sub-genre completely falls apart in the final act. I was really disappointed that writer-director Jeremy Benson took LIVE ANIMALS in the direction he did in the last 20 minutes.

Live Animals

Animals

#1 | Movie Reviews

Animals
Despite the fact it came on a shiny disc, was made in 2008 and stars actors from cult TV shows, I have to wonder if perhaps Animals fell through a hole in space/time from the late 80s early 90s and would perhaps feel more comfortable in a nice black Ex-Rental VHS box.

Animals

Barnyard: The Original Party Animals

#1 | Movie Reviews

Barnyard: The Original Party Animals
Summary:
"Barnyard: The Original Party Animals" just isn't that funny. The few amusing moments it has are offset by rather scary moments and cheesy, sappy moments. Young kids might enjoy it, but parents will probably get bored fast.

Barnyard: The Original Party Animals

Monster Ark

#1 | Movie Reviews

Monster Ark
Buried under the sands of Iraq world famous archaeologist Nicholas Solomon has found a clue to the one of the ancient mysteries of the Old Testament. Solomons discovery leads to a remote desert which contains the remnants of an ark. The team must fight off insurgents as they uncover the mystery. Things turn deadly as they discover this ark didnt carry animals, it carried something evil.

Monster Ark

Alligator

#1 | Movie Reviews

Alligator
Ramon the alligator is flushed down the toilet as a baby and grows into a gargantuan monster by eating the corpses of laboratory animals who have undergone dubious hormone experiments, thus providing all the ecological and social subtext that one could possibly wish for, even if one doesnt normally go for films about giant alligators eating people left, right, and center--which is the inevitable and tragic result of Ramons decision that the outside world looks rather more interesting than the sewers....

Alligator

Racing Stripes

#1 | Movie Reviews

Racing Stripes
Although perhaps a little unkind, the best description I can think of for Racing Stripes is that it's a "Babe wannabe." The new film has many of the same qualities, but it isn't as fresh, as witty, or as affecting as the 1995 movie or its 1998 sequel. The concept of making animals talk is always tricky, and, for the most part, director Frederik Du Chau (in his live-action debut after helming the animated Quest for Camelot) pulls it off. The animals' mouths move in a believable fashion, and the vocal cast is first-rate. The fault lies in the script (credited to newcomer David Schmidt), which doesn't believe that the animals have much worth saying to adult audience members.

Racing Stripes

Advocate

#1 | Movie Reviews

Advocate
"A few years ago, a friend sent me a book about the prosecution of animals in the Middle Ages... These trials read like modern courtroom dramas. Since the animals were given a full defense counsel and were prosecuted with the whole rigor of the law, it had all the kind of little tricks that lawyers play to get their clients off. What really intrigued me was reading up about [the] people - the renegade priests, the philosophers, the lawyers, people who actually had very modern ideas."
- Leslie Magahey, writer/director of The Advocate

Advocate

Buddy

#1 | Movie Reviews

Buddy
This is a fact based story about an English socialite and her husband who live in a mansion with a brood of animals including chimpanzees who are raised as her children. When she discovers an ailing baby gorilla, she decides to care for it as well. Years later, the gorilla is fully grown and its strength is sometimes out of control. However, the gorilla shows love for his mistress and obeys her commands. That all changes when she is invited to display the gorilla and chimps at the Chicago Worlds Fair. Accidentally freed by one of the chimps, the gorilla terrorizes the Fair. From that point on, he becomes moody and more uncontrollable until he attacks his mistress in a bestial rage.

Buddy

Man to Man

#1 | Movie Reviews

Man to Man
1870. Dr. Jamie Dodd is elated he has finally succeeded in capturing not one, but two pygmies. He brings them to Scotland with the help of Elena Van den Ende, an adventurous woman who sells wild animals to the zoos of Europe. His two anthropologist friends, Alexander and Fraser, and himself are certain they have discovered the missing link, which will make them famous. They start examining the pygmy couple from every angle and Jamie gradually discovers that Toko and Likola are just as sensitive and intelligent as any other homo sapiens. His two colleagues strongly reject this idea as it is glory they are after not the truth. Will Jamie be able to prove the two short people are genuine human beings and not freaks to be shown in a zoo?

Man to Man

Furry Vengeance

#1 | Movie Reviews

Furry Vengeance
Oh, Brendan Fraser. I have now watched yet another film in which you engage in slapstick with CGI animals. Granted, Furry Vengeance isn't even the low point of your career. But still -- CGI animals? Again?

In the spirit of full disclosure, I want to explain that I am deeply, heart-breakingly in love with Brendan Fraser. This affair, which exists entirely in my own mind but has never blossomed into full-blown stalking, has been going on for a long, long time, despite the fact that most of his films are pedestrian DVD fodder.

Furry Vengeance